New Beginnings: An Update On A Very Busy Life

It has been too long since my last (first) post and my family has been on me to update my blog - so here you go guys!

The last few weeks have been very busy, fulfilling, and crammed with many new memories. About the time that I started this blog, I also made a list of several goals that I wanted to accomplish. I was feeling like there was something missing in many areas of my life, so I began to work on them. Little by little, I am filling those holes in. With that being said, I feel like I am truly making progress. Here they are and an update on how they are going:

Minimize my anxiety:
I am a MSW Intern at a local Community Mental Health Center. It did not take me long when I first began my clinical's to discover that I have anxiety. Very. High. Anxiety. I have always been very confident about my career path, but when I was faced with actually having a client's life in my hands I began to question my abilities.

I know that I am my worst critic, but I did not understand how I could help a 45 year-old mother who is addicted to marijuana overcome her suicidal ideations. I am merely a 23 year-old intern, who has never had any children, I don't use drugs, and I have never wanted to end my life. So, how can I possibly help someone if I can't relate to their problems? This is where my anxiety came from. I had a lot of self-doubt which caused me to worry. And then over-worry. And then have an anxiety attack. I would be so exhausted from my anxiety that I would literally come home, eat dinner, and go to sleep. My body would ache, my head would ache, and I was constantly on edge.

What I have learned over the past month, however, is that this is normal. Everyone doubts their abilities as a new professional and you learn to just roll with the changes. I may not be 45 years-old, or have children, or abuse drugs - but I do have the training to help them. After I realized this, my anxiety has began to diminish. Sure, it is still there, but I do not have the chronic worries anymore. I am rebuilding my confidence.

It is amazing what deep breathing, exercise, long baths, and self-care can do!

Get Active:
I love to exercise. I always have, and I always will. It is a way for me to clear my mind and focus on myself. However, my husband and I moved at the end of May this year and I fell out of my routine. It has taken me some time to adjust to this big change in our lives and it has taken me that much longer to begin exercising again.

My goal has been to exercise 3 to 5 times a week. So far, I am meeting the bare minimum! I signed up for a competitive volleyball league and so I am forced to work out at least every Monday. I have also been filling in on a coed volleyball team every now and then, so that is helping too. The other days I am either walking around campus or going on a run-which I love to (I am just not very good at it). My goal is to work my way up to running a 5K.

Check Things Off My Bucket List:
In my last post I included my "Fall Bucket List". I have been busy checking them off one by one and I am having so much fun doing it! I have learned that if I try to plan these things, they usually never end up happening. However, if I am asked spontaneously to do them, then it never fails.

The first thing on my bucket list was to run a 5K. I quickly learned that I can't just say I am going to get up today and run 3.1 miles - I actually have to train for it. So, I have been running; some weeks more than others, but regardless I am running.

The next thing on my list was to go to a pumpkin patch. I was lucky and actually crossed two things off from my list because it was a pumpkin patch AND winery. There is a little place called 'Pome on the Range' which is about 10 miles Southwest of my hometown. I went with my parents and younger sister last weekend and we had a blast. We drank wine, sampled cider, took many pictures, walked through rows and rows of apple trees, enjoyed the perfect fall day, and admired the few pumpkins that were left.

"Buy tickets for the Trans Siberian Orchestra's 'The Last Christmas Eve'" was the final thing on my Fall Bucket List. After my mom read my first post she did not spend any time ordering the tickets. We are planning on going on December 9th and I will make sure to blog about it later!

As you can see the last few weeks have been very busy, stressful, exhausting - yet fulfilling. I am finally making time for things in my life that I had been needing to do for a long time. That is a truly wonderful feeling. I have been taking advantage of the opportunities that are being thrown my way, rather than turing them down due to homework on my lack of motivation. I cam across a quote today and I thought that it was very fitting for this post. So I will leave you with these words:

Once You Begin To Change, So Will The World Around You.

Thanks for reading,

Ashley

Some of my memories from October 2012